Friday, July 11, 2008

No Indigo

by Squawkers McCaw

I have heard the rumors. I wish to correct these misconceptions.

I am not the bridge to your future. I am not the next step in your evolution. I have no telepathic abilities or innate spiritual gifts, no past life memories or hypersensitive vibrations. I have a rubber cracker and a perch.

Some may have confused me with the Lears Macaw, sometimes called the Indigo Macaw. Please see the photograph for proper identification.

Do not confuse it with the Hyacinth Macaw. The Hyacinth is not an Indigo. I am a Blue and Gold, the type of Macaw most often chosen by humans for companionship. I am not an Indigo.

And speaking of companionship...

At one time, I thought I was autistic, but I am not autistic either. According to this website,

“The diagnostic criteria for autism is (sic) quite clear. It states that the autistic person lives in his or her own world, and is disconnected from other people. The autistic person doesn't talk because of an indifference to communicating with others.”

I am deeply ashamed to have so misread the books. Perhaps I am not as intellectually gifted as I had hoped. I feel as if my head were made of glass or…

wait, that’s no ordinary glass…

could I be...

a crystal?

Submitted by Squawkers McCaw


  1. LOL!!!! No Indigo's here either. I love the 'article'.

  2. Love it! Just the other day M picked up a movie at the video store called Indigo, about Indigo children. She was like, "What is this about?" I calmly diverted her attention to another movie. They have the movie right in the children's section! It made me sick. I hate that crap.

  3. After going through similar (and worse) experiences of word fascism myself I cried with laughter at your article, and after reading some of your other posts I had to add you to my blog roll. Yours is truly the most balanced blog I have read on 'being' an Aspie. :)

  4. "I have no telepathic abilities or innate spiritual gives, no past life memories or hypersensitive vibrations. I have a rubber cracker and a perch."
    :-D Wish I'd said that.

  5. Real funny. Too bad most people can't get the references properly for understanding it.

  6. All that indigo and crystal crap would be howlingly funny if it wasn't so ignorant and self-deluded. Your satirical slap is a lot more gentle than it deserves. But it's nice to start my day with a chuckle.

  7. OMG this is one of the funniest things I have seen. HAHAH!!

  8. Hilarious! I am sure Squawkers is highly evolved in his own way, though.

  9. Hah! I have an Indigo posting for next week, but this is hilarious.

  10. What is this about?

  11. This is great!

    I liked this line best: "I have a rubber cracker and a perch."

  12. No don't get me wrong got me crystals shiny shiny, but I can smell the crap of a bull when I can smell it.

    Spent too much of my time with the new agey bollox to know what inna and what enna

    Now synchronicity that is sommat else cos what is written is what is written and you might be el aurens or you might be a big brother candidate but the script writer and the ultimate perspective vortex has it all down on a piece of fairy cake :)

    BTW I am omniscient, what I don't know I don't but that signifies nothing as to whethery the "I don't" even exist in either a Rumsfeldian or Berkelian dimension.

    Yeah well I dunno who even wrote that Calvin the little perhaps or Hobbes.

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