Friday, July 6, 2007

This is a Crock

From today's Square Eight News:
Autism G-nome Project Seeks Causes of Hatred Toward Autistics:
Yard decorations believed to play crucial role

A Study announced today by the Commission for Recognizing the Offensiveness of Cretins and Kooks (CROCK) seeks to determine the cause of CROCK identified organizations and their failure to understand the basics of human variation and the importance of treating others with respect. The study will cost very little because it will be conducted entirely by volunteers at flea markets and garage sales.

Various unnamed parties have suggested that the presence of lawn gnomes in the yards of their childhood homes may be to blame for some adults' persistence in believing in “changeling” type fairy tales. Further anecdotal evidence indicates that at least some members of the organizations in question did indeed express the opinion that the gnomes are “cute”.

The alleged representative of one such rumored organization voiced outrage at the very idea of the gnome connection. “They are very much not our class of lawn ornament”, she retorted. An inside source, though, verifies that the organization's "founding family" does indeed own a manufacturing company which produces the gnomes. Confronted with this information, the probable spokesperson sneered, “Well, so what? You’re not even normal.”


  1. I recognize the glazed over eyes but when did Jeff Bradstreet grow a beard?

  2. Good grief! I didn't know that there were any gnomes in America? I thought that they were a strictly British phenomenon which would mean that all autistic people must be British! Do I go to the top of the class?

  3. You are getting a bit ahead of me now, mcewen. The "all autistics are British" post will be coming up soon. Actually, I've been thinking for a while about writing about the joys of British humor and emulating English accents (yes, I am aware that we are the ones who really have accents). Anyways, cheerio!

  4. G-Nome project, indeed. Loved it!


  5. Bev, I love your wicked sense of humor!

  6. Hmmm... Gnomes do have that autistic stare.


  7. Hmmm... I can just hear the polemic: "Are we talking about acquired autism, hereditary autism, or simply a gnome shadow syndrome?" lol


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